Christ Speaking -- Matthew

This list shows the "spoken version" of each verse of Christ's words in Matthew. It adds interactions with audiences, pauses, and other interactions you would see in a spoken presentation. The word order follows the order of the original Greek much more closely than other English so that the humor works correctly, especially the punch lines. This work is being done as part of a new version capturing the Gospel of Matthew from a different perspective.
Matthew 6:30 Wherefore, if God so clothes the grass
Matthew 28:20 Teaching them to observe all things
Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God...
Matthew 17:9 Tell the vision to no man,
Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not think about tomorrow:
Matthew 17:11 Elias truly shall first come
Matthew 21:36 Again, he sent other servants more than the first:
Matthew 17:17 O faithless and perverse generation,
Matthew 17:20 Because of your unbelief: for ...
Matthew 17:21 But this kind goes not out except
Matthew 6:23 But if your eye is evil,
Matthew 25:29  For unto every one that hath shall be given,
Matthew 17:22 The Son of man shall be betrayed
Matthew 17:25 What do you think, Simon?
Matthew 7:27 And the rain descended, and the floods came,
Matthew 21:37 But last of all he sent unto them his son,...
Matthew 22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law
Matthew 20:28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto,
Matthew 21:38  But when the husbandmen saw the son,
Matthew 22:42 What do you think of the Christ?
Matthew 21:39  And they caught him, and cast him
Matthew 22:43 How then did David in spirit
Matthew 23:10 Neither are you called masters:
Matthew 22:44 The LORD said unto my Lord,
Matthew 23:3 All therefore whatever
Matthew 21:42 Did you never read in the scriptures...
Matthew 22:45  If David then call him Lord,
Matthew 21:43 Therefore I tell you, The kingdom of God
Matthew 21:44 And whoever falls on this stone shall be broken:
Non-Jesus Verse: Matthew 24:3 The Apostle's Question
Matthew 10:37 He who loves his father
Matthew 26:53 Did you think that I cannot now pray...
Matthew 13:44 Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a treasure
Matthew 13:46 Who, when he had found one pearl of great price,
Matthew 23:4 For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne,
Matthew 15:5 But you say, Whoever shall says [to his] father
Matthew 16:4 A wicked and adulterous generation seeks after a sign
Matthew 22:7  But when the king heard thereof, he was wroth:
Matthew 22:8 Then he said to his servants, The wedding is ready,
Matthew 20:6 And about the eleventh hour
Matthew 15:6 And he need not honor his father nor his mother.
Matthew 5:5 Blessed [are] the meek...
Matthew 16:6 Take heed and beware of the leaven
Matthew 22:9 Go therefore into the highways,
Matthew 15:7 Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you,
Matthew 16:8 Oh you of little faith, why reason
Matthew 20:8 So when even was come, the lord of the vineyard...
Matthew 15:8 This people draweth nigh unto me
Matthew 5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad...
Matthew 16:9 Do you not yet understand, nor remember
Matthew 20:9 And when they came that [were hired]
Matthew 5:13 You are the salt of the earth:
Matthew 5:14 You are the light of the world.
Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine
Matthew 5:20 ...unless your righteousness exceeds
Matthew 5:21 ...You shall not kill; by them of old time,
Matthew 5:22 ...That whoever is angry with his brother
Matthew 5:23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar,
Matthew 9:37 The harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are few;
Matthew 19:23 Truly I tell you, That a rich man shall...